


Shephard λdrift

by TheOriginalCowboyCat



Series: ᕼ ᗩ ᒪ ᖴ - ᒪ I ᖴ ᗴ [1]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, My First Work in This Fandom, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Black Mesa, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Service Dogs, Survivor Guilt, selectively mute Adrian Shephard, still getting a feel for the characters and world so chapters will be short at the start
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOriginalCowboyCat/pseuds/TheOriginalCowboyCat
Summary: Adrian Shephard sat in the dark, empty hull of the Osprey, his legs pulled tightly to his chest as he stared out into the empty void that surrounded him, small white orbs passing by as he drifted through oblivion. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there, lost in his own head and thoughts; time seeming to have no power in this place, nor anything else. He did not feel hunger, or thirst, or need for sleep… he did not age.This place would keep him alive for as long as the G-Man saw fit.And there was no telling how long that would be.So there he sat, watching, waiting, preparing... for when the door opened again.
Series: ᕼ ᗩ ᒪ ᖴ - ᒪ I ᖴ ᗴ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007043
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	Shephard λdrift

Adrian Shephard sat in the dark, empty hull of the Osprey, his legs pulled tightly to his chest as he stared out into the empty void that surrounded him, small white orbs passing by as he drifted through oblivion. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there, lost in his own head and thoughts; time seeming to have no power in this place, nor anything else. He did not feel hunger, or thirst, or need for sleep… he did not age. He could not recall how much time had passed since the _‘G-Man’_ left him here, the ghostly looking man’s final words ringing endlessly in his head:

_“Rather than continually subject you to the irresistible human temptation of telling all, we have decided to...convey you to somewhere where you can do no possible harm, and where no harm can come to you. I'm sure you can imagine there are worse alternatives,”._

Adrian shut his eyes, burying his face in his hands as he tried desperately to think of anything else, anything but the fact that he was forever trapped in this hellish dimension… but only memories of Black Mesa flashed through his mind.

His short time in the facility had left him scarred... both physically and mentally. 

Despite being the sole survivor of the helicopter crash that killed his entire platoon, that didn’t mean he’d gotten out unscaved or uninjured. The friendly scientist that had saved his life; even though he knew he didn’t deserve it; pulled him out of the burning wreckage, but not before the fire began to eat away at his flesh. When he’d woken up an undetermined amount of time later, bandaged, bleeding, and hopped up on whatever pain meds that were found lying around, angry pink scars crawled across the left side of his body and face.

Sight never returned to his eye, nor did his hearing.

Even with the sudden and jarring disability, Adrian managed to adapt and survive until the very end.

And it was never supposed to end like it did, not like this.

He was never supposed to fight aliens, or face off against black-ops who killed everything in their path, he was never supposed to watch his friends be slaughtered before his very eyes, and he was never supposed to end up… here.

After a moment of thought, he wondered if he was… after all, he and his platoon had been trained specifically for the mission to Black Mesa, and the blue-suited man had been lurking around his barracks long before, meaning that he had known exactly what was going to happen, and let them march right into the fray.

And for what? Some scientists who likely died the second he jumped through that strange portal? Why did he even matter, what was so important about this _Gordon Freeman?_

Regardless, he knew he should be angry, angry that the people he trusted and looked up to, had let countless young men walk straight to their death. But… he was angrier at himself, that his teenage mind had been seduced by the temptation of guns and violence, and a primal need to fight for things he didn’t fully understand.

And look where that got him.

A quiet whimper escaped Adrian’s throat as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, and in return, a small whimper answered him back. He lifted his head and looked across the Osprey with blurred vision, where a yellow creature with blue stripes and dozens of dark blue eyes stared back at him, head turned in curiosity and concern.

The sight brought a small smile to his lips as he reached out a hand to the creature. _Delilah_ was the name he’d given to the Houndeye, the one he’d managed to save from Black Mesa before it was nuked to kingdom come. It had been by accident, Adrian had hid himself away behind some fallen vents in order to escape a group of aliens with three arms and glowing red eyes, only to find the small pup cowering there as well. He’d been terrified of it at first, weapon drawn and ready to fire.

But he realized that, instead of trying to attack him, the small Houndeye simply whimpered and pushed itself further into the darkness. Adrian had lowered his weapon, the sight reminding him of his own childhood dog, a scrawny mutt he’d found in an alleyway on his way to school one day. He was always good with animals (even alien ones as it turned out) and after a small amount of coaxing, the Houndeye emerged from its hiding spot and immediately warmed up to him, cooing and snuggling right up into his lap.

They’d been inseparable ever since, Adrian doing everything in his power to protect the little pup. Surprisingly, while taking all of the weapons he’d acquired, the _G-Man_ had let him keep his pet, under the premise that it was _the least he could do_. 

Delilah hopped off the bench across the Osprey and trotted up to him, pressing her large head into his hand and scrambling up beside him. She could always tell when his thoughts were overwhelming him, using herself as a distraction with small clicks, purrs, and gentle vibrations from her toned-down sonic pulse to pull him back to reality.

In truth, she was the only thing keeping Adrian sane, the only thing that he knew was real. He gave her head a loving pat and sniffled away the few tears that escaped him, smiling softly while she once again crawled into his lap, her sharp claws scrabbling across the seat as he set his legs back down on the floor. 

_Good girl,_ he thought to himself, running his hand down the length of her back, and setting his attention to the last place he saw the man who trapped him here before he disappeared into blinding white nothingness. 

During the first few days (or what he assumed were days) of his isolation, the former soldier had tried desperately to find that door, screaming for the G-Man to let him out until his throat was raw and voice all but gone. He’d become so scared and desperate for freedom, that; despite his better judgment, he’d even tried jumping out into the abyss in the hopes of waking up from this nightmare… or… not wake up at all.

It never worked, no matter how hard he tried, Adrian would always find himself back on the Osprey, completely unharmed.

This place would keep him alive for as long as the G-Man saw fit.

And there was no telling how long that would be.

So there he sat, watching, waiting, _preparing..._ for when the door opened again.


End file.
